person
Dmitry (Mitya) Kuldarov
Mitya
also: Митя Кулдаров, Дмитрий Кулдаров, Mitya, Dmitry Kuldarov
A minor collegiate registrar overjoyed to find his name printed in the newspaper -- as the drunken victim of a trivial street accident -- and unable to see the item as anything but triumphant fame.