Headnote
"The Ram and the Young Lady" ("Баран и барышня") appeared in 1883, during the densest stretch of Chekhov’s apprentice years as "Antosha Chekhonte," when he was filing comic sketches to the Petersburg and Moscow humor weeklies at a pace that demanded speed and a reliable target. The subtitle he gives it – "a little episode from the life of ’gracious sirs’" – signals the genre precisely: this is a caption-sketch, built on a single social absurdity and cut to fit a page, not a story that aspires to the architecture of his later work.
The target is the minor bureaucrat or man of means addressed by the ironic honorific "milostivyi gosudar’" ("gracious sir," the standard formal address of the period, here used sardonically as a running label for the story’s nameless bank official). A young woman, introduced as the daughter of a court councillor, calls on him seeking a free railway ticket home to her ailing mother in Kursk – apparently a perquisite he is rumored to have the power to grant. Roused from an after-dinner stupor and bored to the point of restlessness, he draws the visit out for his own entertainment: plies her with tea, flatters her, pries into her fiancé and her salary, lets her talk herself comfortable and confiding, all without the smallest intention of helping her. When she finally asks outright for the ticket, he professes total ignorance of what she means, blames a mix-up of addresses, and has his carriage brought round to go to the theater – leaving her to learn, at the door, that this same man has in fact already left for Moscow.
Watch for how little machinery it takes: Chekhov gives the ram no motive beyond boredom, and the story does not moralize the cruelty of wasting a poor petitioner’s evening for amusement – it simply lets the gracious sir’s oily cordiality curdle, sentence by sentence, into a flat lie, and closes on the girl learning of it secondhand, from a servant at the wrong door, with no comment from the narrator at all. The slippage in how he addresses her at the end – he gets her patronymic wrong the second time, having barely listened the first – is the story’s whole judgment on him, delivered without a word of authorial editorializing.
Translation Original
1 (A little episode from the life of "gracious sirs")
(Эпизодик из жизни "Милостивых государей")
2 On the well-fed, glistening face of the gracious sir was written the most mortal boredom. He had only just emerged from the embrace of his after-dinner
Morpheus and did not know what to do with himself. He had no wish to think, no wish to yawn... Reading had bored him since time immemorial, it was too early for the theater, he was too lazy to go for a drive... What was there to do? What could he find to amuse himself?
На сытой, лоснящейся физиономии милостивого государя была написана смертельнейшая скука. Он только что вышел из объятий послеобеденного Морфея и не знал, что ему делать. Не хотелось ни думать, ни зевать... Читать надоело еще в незапамятные времена, в театр еще рано, кататься лень ехать... Что делать? Чем бы развлечься?
3 "Some young lady has come!" reported
Yegor. "Asking for you!"
– Барышня какая-то пришла! – доложил
Егор. – Вас спрашивает!
4 "A young lady? Hm... Now who might that be? Makes no difference, though – show her in..."
– Барышня? Гм... Кто же это? Всё одно, впрочем, – проси...
5 Into the study came quietly a pretty brunette, dressed plainly... very plainly indeed. She entered and made a bow.
В кабинет тихо вошла хорошенькая брюнетка, одетая просто... даже очень просто. Она вошла и поклонилась.
6 "Forgive me," she began, in a trembling treble. "I, you see... I was told that you... you could only be caught at six o’clock... I... I... am the daughter of the
court councillor Paltsev..."
– Извините, – начала она дрожащим дискантом. – Я, знаете ли... Мне сказали, что вас... вас можно застать только в шесть часов... Я... я... дочь
надворного советника Пальцева...
7 "A pleasure! Do s-sit down! What can I do for you? Sit, don’t stand on ceremony!"
– Очень приятно! Сссадитесь! Чем могу быть полезен? Садитесь, не стесняйтесь!
8 "I have come to you with a request..." the young lady went on, sitting down awkwardly and fidgeting with trembling hands at her buttons. "I have come... to ask you for a ticket for free passage home. You do give them out, I’ve heard... I want to go, but I... I am not rich... Mine would be from
Petersburg to
Kursk..."
– Я пришла к вам с просьбой... – продолжала барышня, неловко садясь и теребя дрожащими руками свои пуговки. – Я пришла... попросить у вас билет для бесплатного проезда на родину. Вы, я слышала, даете... Я хочу ехать, а у меня... я небогата... Мне от
Петербурга до
Курска...
9 "Hm... I see... And what would you be going to Kursk for? Don’t you care for it here?"
– Гм... Так-с... А для чего вам в Курск ехать? Здесь нешто не нравится?
10 "No, I like it here, but, you know... my parents. I am going to my parents. It has been a long time since I saw them...
Mama, they write, is ill..."
– Нет, здесь нравится, но, знаете ли... родители. Я к родителям. Давно уж у них не была... Мама, пишут, больна...
11 "Hm... Are you employed here, or studying?"
– Гм... Вы здесь служите или учитесь?
12 The young lady told him where and for whom she had been employed, how much she had been paid, how much work there had been...
Барышня рассказала, где и у кого она служила, сколько получала жалованья, много ли было работы...
13 "I see... So you were employed... Yes indeed, one can’t say your salary was a large one... One can’t say that... It would be inhumane not to give you a free ticket... Hm... Off to your parents, then... Well, and I don’t suppose in Kursk there’s some little cupid, eh? A cupidkin? Heh, heh, ho... A little bridegroom? Blushing? Well, what of it! A good thing... Go right ahead. It’s past time you were married... And who is he?"
– Так... Служили... Да-с, нельзя сказать, чтоб ваше жалованье было велико... Нельзя сказать... Негуманно было бы не давать вам бесплатного билета... Гм... К родителям едете, значит... Ну, а небось в Курске и амурчик есть, а? Амурашка? Хе, хе, хо... Женишок? Покраснели? Ну, что ж! Дело хорошее... Езжайте себе. Вам уж пора замуж... А кто он?
15 "A good thing... Off to Kursk with you... They say that a hundred
versts out from Kursk already it smells of cabbage soup and the cockroaches are crawling about... Heh, heh, ho... I don’t suppose it’s dull in that Kursk? But do take off your hat! There, like that, don’t stand on ceremony! Yegor, bring us some tea! I don’t suppose it’s dull in that... mmm... what’s it called... Kursk?"
– Дело хорошее... Езжайте в Курск... Говорят, что уже в ста верстах от Курска пахнет щами и ползают тараканы... Хе, хе, хо... Небось, скука в этом Курске? Да вы скидайте шляпу! Вот так, не стесняйтесь! Егор, дай нам чаю! Небось, скучно в этом... ммм... как его... Курске?
16 The young lady, who had not expected so gracious a reception, brightened and described to the gracious sir all the amusements of Kursk... She told him she had a brother who was a clerk, an uncle who was a teacher, cousins who were schoolboys... Yegor brought the tea... The young lady timidly reached for her glass and, afraid to make a sound, began to swallow noiselessly... The gracious sir looked at her and smirked... He no longer felt bored...
Барышня, не ожидавшая такого ласкового приема, просияла и описала милостивому государю все курские развлечения... Она рассказала, что у нее есть брат-чиновник, дядя-учитель, кузены-гимназисты... Егор подал чай... Барышня робко потянулась за стаканом и, боясь чамкать, начала бесшумно глотать... Милостивый государь глядел на нее и ухмылялся... Он уж не чувствовал скуки...
17 "Is your bridegroom good-looking?" he asked. "And how did the two of you come to an understanding?"
– Ваш жених хорош собой? – спросил он. – А как вы с ним сошлись?
18 The young lady, blushing, answered both questions. She drew trustingly nearer to the gracious sir and, smiling, told how here, in Petersburg, suitors had come courting her and how she had refused them... She talked for a long while. She finished by taking a letter from her parents out of her pocket and reading it aloud to the gracious sir. It struck eight o’clock.
Барышня конфузливо ответила на оба вопроса. Она доверчиво подвинулась к милостивому государю и, улыбаясь, рассказала, как здесь, в Питере, сватались к ней женихи и как она им отказала... Говорила она долго. Кончила тем, что вынула из кармана письмо от родителей и прочла его милостивому государю. Пробило восемь часов.
19 "Your father has quite a good hand – what flourishes he writes with! Heh, heh... But, however, it’s time I was off... The theater will have begun already... Farewell,
Marya Yefimovna!"
– А у вашего отца неплохой почерк... С какими он закорючками пишет! Хе, хе... Но, однако, мне пора... В театре уж началось... Прощайте,
Марья Ефимовна!
20 "Then may I hope?" asked the young lady, rising.
– Так я могу надеяться? – спросила барышня, поднимаясь.
21 "Hope for what, if I may ask?"
– На что-с?
22 "That you will give me the free ticket..."
– На то, что вы мне дадите бесплатный билет...
23 "A ticket? Hm... I have no tickets! You must be mistaken, madam... Heh, heh, heh... You’ve come to the wrong place, the wrong entrance... Next door to me, it’s true, there lives some railway official or other, but I am employed at a bank! Yegor, have the carriage brought round! Farewell,
ma chère (dear one (French).) Marya Semyonovna! Delighted... very delighted..."
– Билет? Гм... У меня нет билетов! Вы, должно быть, ошиблись, сударыня... Хе, хе, хе... Вы не туда попали, не на тот подъезд... Рядом со мной, подлинно, живет какой-то железнодорожник, а я в банке служу-с! Егор, вели заложить! Прощайте, ma chere дорогая (франц.) Марья Семеновна! Очень рад... рад очень...
24 The young lady got dressed and went out... At the other entrance she was told that he had left for
Moscow at half past seven.
Барышня оделась и вышла... У другого подъезда ей сказали, что он уехал в половине восьмого в
Москву.
