Stories · 1880

Unpublished. An Unfinished Novel

Неопубликованное. неоконченное роман

Headnote

This fragment dates from 1880, Chekhov’s first year in print, when the twenty-year-old medical student was writing at speed under the byline Antosha Chekhonte for the humor weeklies of Moscow and Petersburg. It survived only among his papers – never submitted, never finished – and is printed here as the scrap it is: two unrelated openings set side by side, both parodies of forms the young Chekhov had already read to death.

The first is a single sentence of overheated melodrama, the kind of "society novel" then filling the thick journals: a heroine named Lyolya, a slammed door, a bitten pillow, and a title – "A NOVEL" – promising grand passion that never arrives. The second, longer piece is a mock letter to the editor, ventriloquizing a fictitious "Editress Boguslavskaya," publisher of a Moscow ladies’ magazine called The Ladies’ Friend, who has taken offense at a review in the real journal Notes of the Fatherland (edited at the time by Mikhail Saltykov-Shchedrin, addressed here directly as "Mr. Shchedrin"). Her letter is a small monument to confused indignation: she denounces "realism" and "materialism" as though they were diseases, admits she has had to look both words up in a dictionary of foreign terms, and signs off mid-thought in French she does not quite have the reach to finish.

Nothing here asks to be read as mature Chekhov. What is already visible is the ear: the collapse of a pompous public register into self-betraying comedy, achieved without a single authorial aside telling the reader it is funny. The piece has no ending because it was never meant to have one – Chekhov set it down, moved on, and left two fragments of the same sensibility that would spend the next twenty-five years learning restraint.

A NOVEL
РОМАН
Suitors, where are you?!
Женихи, где вы?!
Lyolya slammed the door, sent the maid to the devil, threw herself on the bed, and bit the pillow, hard.
Леля хлопнула дверью, послала ко всем чертям горничную, упала на постель и больно укусила подушку.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
ПИСЬМО В РЕДАКЦИЮ
Dear Sir, Mr. Editor!
Милостивый государь г. Редактор!
I have only just learned that in the November number of Notes of the Fatherland (I am a liberal, but you must admit that this newspaper has gone drunk on realism!) they have printed something about my magazine The Ladies’ Friend, published in Moscow. (Subscription price: 6 rubles in Moscow, 7 in other cities. We will not send a single number to Petersburg, not for any money! Petersburg is full of nothing but mockers.) Some N. M. or other (a man, without question) has dared, in his article "The Forgotten Primer," to attack defenseless women, to jeer at them, to shame them, to hold them in contempt. – "Many women do not even suspect that they have a friend in Moscow," he writes, with irony. He laughs at me and at my collaborators (my poor dears!) and at our discoveries, which we discovered in our editorial office.
Сейчас только я узнала, что в ноябрьской книжке "Отечественных записок" (я либеральна, но сознайтесь же, что эта газета опьянела от реализма!) пропечатали мой журнал "Друг дам", издающийся в Москве. (Подписная цена: в Москве 6 р., а в других городах 7. В Петербург мы не пошлем ни одного номера, ни за какие деньги! В Петербурге живут всё надсмешники.) Какой-то Н. М. (несомненно, мужчина) в своей статье "Забытая азбука" осмелился нападать на беззащитных женщин, издеваться над ними, страмить их, ненавистничать. – "Многие женщины и не подозревают, что в Москве у них есть друг", пишет он с эронией. Он смеется надо мной и над моими сотрудницами (бедные мои!) и над нашими открытиями, которые мы открыли в нашей редакции.
And yet our discoveries are far from laughable. We, the defenseless, are proud of them... Ah! We discovered that this black earth, these people, are unhappy because they have gone drunk on realism. We discovered that the knaves of diamonds are nothing other than representatives of the most extreme materialism, which has ruined the world. Is this not the truth? We fight against realism and materialism, though we haven’t the least idea what either one is. N. M. laughs at every article, sneers at every word... Granted, we are unlettered, we are creatures of routine, we are meddling in matters not our own... Granted! But he is a gentleman, all the same, cher redacteur! dear editor (French). He is a gentleman, and we are ladies – defenseless ladies! We are women. If he had permitted himself such insolence at a ball, he would have been shown the door.
А между тем наши открытия достойны далеко не смеха. Мы, беззащитные, гордимся ими... Ах! Мы открыли, что эта черная земля, эти люди несчастны потому, что опьянели от реализма. Мы открыли, что червонные валеты есть не что иное, как представители крайнего материализма, погубившего мир. Разве это не правда? Мы боремся с реализмом и материализмом, хотя и не имеем понятия ни о том, ни о другом. Н. М. смеется над каждой статьей, глумится над каждым словом... Ну положим, мы безграмотны, рутинерки, боремся не за свое дело... Положим! Но ведь он же кавалер, cher redacteur! милый редактор (франц.). Он кавалер, а мы дамы и беззащитные дамы! Мы женщины. Если бы он позволил себе сделать эту дерзость на балу, то его вывели бы.
And Notes of the Fatherland... They have dared! I am a liberal, but you must agree at last that this journal has gone drunk on realism! Beware, Mr. Shchedrin! A dread hour of vengeance is coming, and your materialism will not save you. We shall triumph, and The Ladies’ Friend will deliver this unhappy earth, these people, from realism and materialism!
А "Отечественные записки"... Осмелились! Я либеральна, но согласитесь же наконец, что этот жюрнал опьянел от реализма! Берегитесь, г. Щедрин! Настанет грозный час отмщения, и не спасет Вас Ваш материализм. Мы восторжествуем, и "Друг дам" избавит эту несчастную землю, этих людей от реализма и материализма!
P.S. I have just now looked into Burdon’s dictionary of "40,000 Foreign Words"... Now I know what realism and materialism mean.
P. S. Сейчас я заглянула в словарь Бурдона "40000 иностранных слов"... Теперь я знаю, что значит реализм и материализм.
Poor things, how I pity you!
Бедные, как мне вас жаль!
J’... Je dis que I... I am saying that (French).
J’... Je dis que Я... Я говорю, что (франц.).

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Unpublished. An Unfinished Novel

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