Letter · 1882

To Al. P. Chekhov, 12 November 1882. Moscow.

Ал. П. Чехову, 12 ноября 1882 г. Москва.

Headnote

Written from Moscow on 12 November 1882 to Chekhov’s elder brother Alexander Pavlovich, then living apart from the family and already established as the addressee of the mock-abusive, joke-stacked style Anton reserved for him alone. Anton was twenty-two, in his third year of medical school and already the household’s chief earner, doling out scolding and money in the same breath – exactly the two currencies this letter trades in.

The letter is business dressed as insult. Alexander was translating for the Petersburg weeklies under the same rough arrangement Anton worked, and the numbered points that structure the middle of the letter – send the rest of the novel, stop wasting time on translation when you could write your own material, and here is an accounting (short-changed, by Anton’s own cheerful admission) of what you’re actually owed – are the real content, wrapped in the fraternal mockery ("frivolous and laughable brother") that is the letter’s real register. "Bzy," to whom Alexander owes both a manuscript and, evidently, money, and "Gavrilka," briefly and elaborately absolved of blame in the middle of the letter’s most tangled joke, are figures from the same Petersburg humor-magazine world the brothers both wrote for; the letter assumes a shared cast Anton does not pause to introduce, in keeping with his rule here that no explanation interrupts the comic momentum.

The nonsense honorific "Aikanovo-Khodakovsky" plays on the name of Zorian Dołęga-Chodakowski, a Polish-Russian folklorist and antiquarian of the previous generation, grafted onto an invented place-name – the kind of mock-elevated title Chekhov liked to bestow on a brother playing at grandeur he had not earned. The single French aside – Mari d’elle, glossed in the source itself as "her husband" – drops into the middle of a joke about a liar’s exaggerations and is Chekhov’s own interlinear gloss, not an editorial addition.

The letter closes on the ordinary texture of a large, scattered family’s correspondence: a debt settled with someone named Khvedya, regards passed to a cousin’s household, a note that a family friend is to be married, and Chekhov’s own plan for the evening – the opera Faust, with Marya – tossed off as an afterthought, the whole letter’s business concluded in a few dozen lines between one obligation and the next.

12 November 1882. Moscow.
12 ноября 1882 г. Москва.
Frivolous and laughable
Легкомысленный и посмеяния достойный
brother of mine, Alexander!
брат мой Александр!
Having made yourself a Aikanovo-Khodakovsky, you have not grown any more sensible:
Соделавшись Айканово-Ходаковским, ты не стал рассудительнее:
1) You haven’t sent the whole novel. Bzy is angry. He also credits you with some translation from the Gartenlaube. Send it along quickly!
1) Ты не выслал всего романа. Бзй сердится. За тобой считает он еще какой-то перевод из "Gartenlaube". Шли поскорей!
2) What do you need translations for, when you have time to write original things? There is new life in you, still in flower... You can draw on it.
2) К чему тебе переводы, если есть время писать вещи оригинальные? Жизнь в тебе новая, пока еще цветистая... Можешь черпать.
3) The main thing, though, the one that proves your frivolity: instead of 19 rubles 45 kopeks you’re getting 10 rubles, only. I’ve pocketed the rest. Pocketed it by accident. I’ll send it on soon, together with the slippers and the instruments. As for the novels you want to translate, I’ll have a word with Bzy. Gavrilka has nothing to do with it. At the office he’s a speck in the eye: you rub and rub, and can’t rub the speck out, only the tears come. The fellow, on the whole –, meaning no offense to her by it. Mari d’elle Her husband (French). lies like the devil himself. This liar isn’t in your class. He doesn’t lie your way. With him it isn’t the fire engine running up the stone staircase, it’s the staircase running after the fire engine.
3) Самое же главное, свидетельствующее о твоем легкомыслии: ты вместо 19 р. 45 к. получаешь 10 р., только. Остальные я зажилил. Зажилил нечаянно. Вышлю их в скором будущем в совокупности с туфлями и инструментами. Относительно романов, кои переводить желаешь, поговорю с Бзим. Гаврилка тут ни при чем. Он в редакции – соринка в глазу: трешь-трешь, никак не вытрешь соринки, слеза только идет. Малый вообще –, не в обиду будь это сказано ей. Mari d’elle Ее муж (франц.). брехлив до чёртиков. Этот брехун не тебе чета. Соврет не по-твоему. У него не пожарная побежит по каменной лестнице, а лестница по пожарной.
Don’t ask me about the magazines. Wait till the New Year. Everyone’s busy everywhere, and I don’t want to trouble them. You understand that well enough.
О журналах меня не проси. Повремени до Нового года. Везде заняты, и не хочется беспокоить. Ты сие понимаешь.
Tell Anna Ivanovna she’s a nonentity, give Shurka a smack on the behind, and stick a bougie up yourself, and don’t forget that you’ve all got
Анне Ивановне скажи, что она ничтожество, Шурку побей по ж, себе вставь буж и не забывай, что у вас у всех есть
Ready service, An. Chekhov.
Готовая услуга А. Чехов.
Khvedya reports that he doesn’t need the 10 rubles, which I pass along for you to rejoice over.
Хведя сообщил, что ему не нужны 10 р., о чем сообщаю, чему и радуйтесь.
My regards to M. Ye. Chekhov and his brood.
Поклон M. E. Чехову и его чадам.
Savelyev is getting married. I’m off now with Marya to Faust.
Савельев женится. Иду сейчас с Марьей на "Фауста".

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