Letter · 1889

To V. A. Tikhonov, 10 February 1889. Moscow.

В. А. ТИХОНОВУ, 10 февраля 1889 г. Москва.

Headnote

1 Written from Moscow on 10 February 1889 to Vladimir Alekseevich Tikhonov, the playwright and editor already established in this corpus through the 1888-89 correspondence. The occasion is Tikhonov’s debut as a theater critic, apparently a review published in the Petersburg weekly "Nedelya" ("The Week").

2 After the dateline (1), Chekhov opens (2) with mock ceremony, saying he cannot properly congratulate Tikhonov on his critical debut because "Nedelya" is as hard to find in Moscow as a white elephant, and asks Tikhonov to send him the issue containing the review, which he promises to file among the many reviews of "Ivanov" already collected in his archive. He then turns (3) to a teasing assessment of Tikhonov’s temperament – too soft, sentimental, and lazy to make a good critic, unlike the ruthless Suvorin – closing the thought with the gnomic tag "Honor alike to the moon, alike to the sun," before suggesting (4) that Tikhonov instead write and deliver a paper on Gorokhovaya. A short aside on his health (5) reports a bout of hemorrhoids brought on by drinking in Petersburg, followed by a closing wish of good health and regards (6), the signature (7), a repeated date (8), and a closing complaint that he has run out of writing paper (9).

10 February 1889. Moscow.
10 февраля 1889 г. Москва.
Dear playwright, for all my wish to greet critic Tikhonov’s debut in a manner worthy of it, I cannot say a single warm word to you, since "Nedelya" is as great a rarity in Moscow as a white elephant. I have not been able to find it anywhere. Would you not take the trouble to send me the issue in which your review appeared? I shall read it and add it to the heap of reviews that make up, in my archive, the voluminous "Case of Ivanov."
Милый драматург, при всем моем желании достойно приветствовать дебют критика Тихонова я не могу сказать Вам ни единого теплого слова, так как "Неделя" в Москве составляет такую же редкость, как белые слоны. Я нигде не мог найти ее. Не потрудитесь ли Вы прислать мне тот No, где помещена Ваша рецензия? Я прочту и присовокуплю ее к куче рецензий, составляющих в моем архиве объемистое "Дело об Иванове".
As far as I can judge by those plays of yours that I have seen on the stage, a theatrical critic is hardly likely to come of you. You are a soft man, sentimental, yielding, prone to fits of laziness, impressionable – and none of these qualities suits a strict, impartial judge. To know how to write criticism, one must be at heart a bit of that pockmarked hag who will beat you without mercy. When Suvorin sees a bad play, he hates the author, while you and I only grow irritated and whine; from which I conclude that Suvorin is fit to be a judge and a hound, while nature has fashioned us (me, you, Shcheglov, and the rest) so that we are fit only to be defendants and hares. Honor alike to the moon, alike to the sun...
Насколько могу судить по тем Вашим пьесам, которые я видел на сцене, из Вас едва ли может выработаться театральный критик. Вы человек рыхлый, чувствительный, уступчивый, наклонный к припадкам лени, впечатлительный, а все сии качества не годятся для строгого, беспристрастного судьи. Чтобы уметь писать критику, нужно быть в душе немножко тою рябой бабой, которая без милосердия будет бить Вас. Когда Суворин видит плохую пьесу, то он ненавидит автора, а мы с Вами только раздражаемся и ноем; из сего я заключаю, что Суворин годится в судьи и в гончие, а нас (меня, Вас, Щеглова и проч.) природа сработала так, что мы годимся быть только подсудимыми и зайцами. Едина честь луне, едина солнцу...
Better write a paper and read it out on Gorokhovaya. There is no shortage of subjects.
Напишите-ка лучше реферат и прочтите его на Гороховой. Сюжетов много.
From drinking in Peter without sparing my belly, I have developed a first-rate case of hemorrhoids, from which I am losing no little blood. Alas, laurels and drunkenness do not come free!
Оттого, что я в Питере пил не щадя живота, у меня разыгрался генеральный геморрой, от которого я теряю немало крови. Увы, лавры и опьянение не даются даром!
Well, be well and merry. My regards to your brother and to our mutual acquaintances.
Ну, будьте здравы и веселы. Поклон Вашему брату и общим знакомым.
10 Feb.
10 февр.
No writing paper!
Нет почтовой бумаги!

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