Letter · 1890

To A. S. Suvorin, 17 December 1890. Moscow.

А. С. СУВОРИНУ, 17 декабря 1890 г. Москва.

Headnote

it runs across fifteen sections of sustained, varied content – a note on a promised story, gossip about a mutual acquaintance’s inheritance, domestic complaints about the mass of paperwork brought back from Sakhalin, wry remarks on his health, comic theological banter, literary business, and a closing wish for the addressee’s health – with a genuine signature ("Ваш А. Чехов" / "Yours, A. Chekhov.") rather than a bare or comic pseudonym. the addressee (Alexei Sergeyevich Suvorin) is constant throughout, the topics run on without any break suggesting a different letter, and the whole is consistent with Chekhov’s habitual letters to Suvorin in this period. Dated 17 December 1890, Moscow.

Chekhov has just returned to Moscow from his journey to Sakhalin (via Siberia overland, then home by sea through the tropics), and this letter finds him newly settled back in, still digesting the trip. He opens by confirming, in answer to an evident telegram exchange, that a promised story is coming, though it needs revision ("long and narrow, like a centipede"). He turns to gossip about the poet Alexei Pleshcheyev’s unexpected two-million-ruble inheritance, mocking the incongruity of the sum with Pleshcheyev’s modest habits. He describes the mountain of statistical cards and papers he has brought back from his Sakhalin census work, wishing half-seriously for a sensible wife to help him sort it rather than burdening his sister Maria. He notes physical complaints – a growing belly, flagging virility, a chill and cough caught after the tropics – in his characteristic wry, self-deprecating register. He then needles Suvorin over an apparent claim (presumably made by or relayed through Suvorin) that the writer Dmitri Grigorovich had once worked as a caretaker in the Sands district of Petersburg, using it as a springboard for a run of comic theological musing on eternity and the kingdom of heaven, tying it back to the fine sunsets he saw in the Bay of Bengal on the voyage home. He reports on Edward Bellamy’s utopian novel (almost certainly "Looking Backward"), which he heard summarized by General Kononovich on Sakhalin and began reading himself, planning to finish it in Petersburg. He asks mockingly when the humorist Nikolai Leikin will be promoted in the civil-service table of ranks, quoting Leikin’s own letters with affectionate contempt for their placid, trivial content (losing weight, turkeys, cabbage). He promises to tell Suvorin everything about the trip in person, reflects that Suvorin had been wrong to counsel him against going to Sakhalin – listing his post-trip ailments and manias half-ironically as proof of how much fuller a man the journey has made him – and remarks that Tolstoy’s "The Kreutzer Sonata," which had felt urgent before the trip, now strikes him as absurd, wondering aloud whether the journey matured him or unhinged him. He describes a new acquaintance, a Dr. Shcherbak, as an admirable, universally liked man with a chaotic past. The letter closes with Chekhov reassuring Suvorin not to worry over his ailments (evidently mentioned in a prior letter from Suvorin) unless they turn out to be typhus or pneumonia, and a warm, genuine sign-off.

17 December 1890. Moscow.
17 декабря 1890 г. Москва.
17 December.
17 декабрь.
My dear fellow, I’ve just telegraphed you that the story will come. I have a suitable story, but it’s long and narrow, like a centipede; it needs a bit of cleaning up and rewriting. I’ll send it without fail, for I am now a man who is not lazy and is industrious.
Милый мой, сейчас я телеграфировал, что рассказ будет. У меня есть подходящий рассказ, но он длинен и узок, как сколопендра; его нужно маленько почистить и переписать. Пришлю непременно, ибо я теперь человек, который не ленивый и трудящийся.
The figure of Pleshcheyev with his two-million-ruble inheritance strikes me as comic. Let’s see how he’ll drag his millions along in tow! What the devil does he need them for? To smoke cigars, eat fifty sweet pastries a day, and drink seltzer water, three rubles a day is quite enough.
Фигура Плещеева с его двухмиллионным наследством представляется мне комичной. Посмотрим, как он потащит на буксире свои миллионы! На какой дьявол они ему? Чтобы курить сигары, съедать по 50 сладких пирожков в день и пить зельтерскую воду, достаточно и трех рублей суточных.
I’ve brought back with me about ten thousand statistical cards and any number of papers besides. I wish I were married now to some sensible young woman, so she could help me sort through this rubbish, since it would be shameful to saddle my sister with the job, as she has plenty of work already.
Привез я с собой около 10 тысяч статистических карточек и много всяких бумаг. Я хотел бы быть женат теперь на какой-нибудь толковой девице, чтобы она помогала мне разбираться в этом хламе, на сестру же взваливать сию работу совестно, ибо у нее и так работы много.
I’m growing a little belly and impotence is setting in. I caught a chill after the tropics: a cough, fever in the evenings, and my head aches.
У меня растет брюшко и начинается импотенция. После тропиков простудился: кашель, жар по вечерам и голова болит.
Grigorovich was never a caretaker on the Sands, which is why he prizes the kingdom of heaven so cheaply. He’s lying.
Григорович никогда не был дворником на Песках, потому так дешево и ценит царство небесное. Врет он.
It seems to me that living forever would be just as hard as never sleeping one’s whole life.
Мне кажется, что жить вечно было бы так же трудно, как всю жизнь не спать.
If in the kingdom of heaven the sun sets as beautifully as it does in the Bay of Bengal, then, I dare assure you, the kingdom of heaven is a very good thing.
Если в царстве небесном солнце заходит так же хорошо, как в Бенгальском заливе, то, смею Вас уверить, царство небесное очень хорошая штука.
The plot of Bellamy’s story was told to me on Sakhalin by General Kononovich; I read a small part of it myself, spending the night somewhere in southern Sakhalin. Now, when I get to Petersburg, I’ll read it through entirely.
Содержание рассказа Беллами мне рассказывал на Сахалине генерал Кононович; частицу этого рассказа я прочел, ночуя где-то в Южном Сахалине. Теперь, когда приеду в Питер, прочту его целиком.
Tell me, when will they make Leikin an actual state councillor? That literary beluga writes to me: "This summer I lost sixteen pounds," and writes about turkeys, about literature, and about cabbage. The tone of his letters is remarkably even, placid.
Скажите, когда Лейкина произведут в действительные статские советники? Эта литературная белужина пишет мне: "Летом я сбавил себе 16 фунтов веса", пишет про индеек, про литературу и капусту. Тон писем удивительно ровный, покойный.
When I arrive, I’ll tell you everything from the very beginning. How wrong you were to advise me not to go to Sakhalin! Now I have my little belly, and my dear impotence, and myriads of midges in my head, and a devil’s abyss of plans, and all sorts of tricks, and what a sour lemon I would be by now if I’d stayed home. Before the trip "The Kreutzer Sonata" was an event for me, but now it strikes me as absurd and seems muddled. I don’t know whether I’ve matured from the journey or gone out of my mind – the devil only knows.
Когда приеду, буду рассказывать Вам всё с самого начала. Как Вы были неправы, когда советовали мне не ехать на Сахалин! У меня и брюшко теперь, и импотенция милая, и мириады мошек в голове, и чёртова пропасть планов, и всякие штуки, а какой кислятиной я был бы теперь, если бы сидел дома. До поездки "Крейцерова соната" была для меня событием, а теперь она мне смешна и кажется бестолковой. Не то я возмужал от поездки, не то с ума сошел – чёрт меня знает.
I’ve made the acquaintance of Dr. Shcherbak. In my opinion he’s a remarkable man. Wherever he serves, everyone loves him, and I’ve become almost close friends with him. His past is such a mess that the devil himself would get stuck in it.
Познакомился с д-ром Щербаком. По-моему, это замечательный человек. Там, где он служит, все его любят, а я с ним почти подружился. В прошлом у него такая каша, что сам чёрт увязнет в ней.
Well, keep well, and don’t attach importance to your ailments: judging by your letter, nothing serious. If it comes to typhus or pneumonia, that will be another matter.
Ну, будьте здоровы и не придавайте значения Вашим недугам: серьезного, если судить по письму, ничего. Если хватит тиф или воспаление легкого, тогда другое дело.
Yours, A. Chekhov.

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To A. S. Suvorin, 17 December 1890. Moscow.

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