HermitshChekhov Entire

Stories · 1885

The Biggest City

Самый большой город

Headnote

1 The Biggest City (“Samyi bol’shoi gorod” in the original) is a brief comic anecdote from 1885, one of the many short humor pieces Chekhov turned out in quantity for the newspapers and magazines of the period. It belongs to a familiar minor genre of his early work: the local legend or tall tale, told with a straight face and a punchline at the end.

The premise is simple. An English correspondent, passing through the real provincial town of Tim in Kursk province, dozes off in his carriage each time it gets stuck in the mud, and wakes to ask his driver the name of the town all over again – never realizing it is the same town he never left, so slow and mired is the going. He duly reports home that Russia’s biggest city is not Moscow or Petersburg, but Tim. The joke turns on provincial roads notorious for their state of disrepair, and on the credulous foreign observer who mistakes the ordeal of getting through one small town for evidence of its enormous size – a gentle jab both at Russian infrastructure and at outsiders confidently misreading what they see.

Section 12 of the source carries no content beyond the heading "Notes" (a bare apparatus placeholder in the digitized text) and is reproduced as such here for structural parity.

In the memory of the residents of the town of Tim, in Kursk province, the following legend survives, flattering to their self-esteem.
В памяти обывателей города Тима, Курской губ., хранится следующая, лестная для их самолюбия легенда.
Once, by some quirk of fate, the devil brought an English correspondent to the town of Tim. He happened upon it while passing through.
Однажды какими-то судьбами нелегкая занесла в г. Тим английского корреспондента. Попал он в него проездом.
"What town is this?" he asked the driver as they turned onto a street.
– Это какой город? – спросил он возницу, въезжая на улицу.
"Tim!" answered the driver, carefully picking his way between deep puddles and potholes.
– Тим! – отвечал возница, старательно лавируя между глубокими лужами и буераками.
The Englishman, waiting for the driver to get clear of the mud, huddled against the driver’s seat and fell asleep. Waking an hour later, he saw a large, dirty square with little shops, pigs, and a fire watchtower.
Англичанин в ожидании, пока возница выберется из грязи, прикорнул к облучку и уснул. Проснувшись через час, он увидел большую грязную площадь с лавочками, свиньями и с пожарной каланчой.
"And what town is this?" he asked.
– А это какой город? – спросил он.
"Ti... Tim! Come on now, damn you!" answered the driver, jumping down from the cart and helping the wretched little horse out of a rut.
– Ти... Тим! Да ну же, проклятая! – отвечал возница, соскакивая с телеги и помогая лошаденке выбраться из ямы.
The correspondent yawned, closed his eyes, and fell asleep again. About two hours later, roused by a violent jolt, he rubbed his eyes and saw a street of little white houses. The driver, standing knee-deep in mud, was hauling the horse by the bridle with all his strength, and swearing.
Корреспондент зевнул, закрыл глаза и опять уснул. Часа через два, разбуженный сильным толчком, он протер глаза и увидел улицу с белыми домиками. Возница, стоя по колени в грязи, изо всех сил тянул лошадь за узду и бранился.
"And what town is this?" asked the Englishman, looking at the houses.
– А это какой город? – спросил англичанин, глядя на дома.
"Tim!"
– Тим!
Having stopped a little while later at the inn, the correspondent sat down and wrote: "In Russia the biggest city is not Moscow, and not Petersburg, but Tim."
Остановившись немного погодя в гостинице, корреспондент сел и написал: "В России самый большой город не Москва и не Петербург, а Тим".
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