Headnote
1
On June and July appeared in 1884, one of the many short comic squibs Chekhov turned out at speed for the humor magazines in the first half of the decade. It belongs to a small genre of its own within his early work: the mock-almanac or mock-calendar entry, in which the form of a reference article – here, an etymological and historical note on the two summer months – is hijacked for a string of unrelated jokes, puns, and topical jabs.
The piece pretends to explain where the names "June" and "July" come from, folding in real classical material (Mercury as a minor Roman god, Jupiter’s pursuit of Io, Julius Caesar and the Gallic War) alongside absurd, deliberately anachronistic embellishments: Mercury moonlighting as a pawnbroker and tavern-keeper, Jupiter drinking and playing cards like a minor civil servant, a decree against selling people at market juxtaposed with the founding of a school for prosecutors. The humor depends on the collision of registers – solemn bureaucratic and scholarly diction applied to petty vice and gossip – a device Chekhov returns to throughout his Chekhonte years.
The closing references are topical rather than mythological: Ilovaisky was the author of a widely used, often mocked school history textbook; Prince Meshchersky was a reactionary journalist and publicist whose turgid prose was a standing joke; Andreyev-Burlak was a well-known actor of provincial and touring theater. Pamva Berynda, listed deadpan among "six Russian poets" who died that July, was in fact a seventeenth-century lexicographer – the joke lands precisely because he does not belong on the list at all.
Slight, occasional, and built entirely for a magazine deadline, the sketch is nonetheless a clean early specimen of Chekhov’s gift for comic compression: it moves fast, never explains its own jokes, and trusts the reader to keep up.
Translation Original
1 In May and in August Russians go about in fur coats and chatter their teeth;
В мае и в августе русские люди ходят в шубах и щелкают зубами;
2 consequently Russian summer consists only of June and July. Amid
dacha storms and
следовательно, русское лето состоит только из июня и июля. Среди дачных бурь и
3 штилей, в вихре
Цукк и
Монбазонш, эти два месяца проходят так быстро, что пора
4 already to count them as a single month, all the more so since both begin with Ju, stand
уже считать их за один месяц, тем более, что оба они начинаются с ию, стоят в
5 side by side in the calendar, and both make you sweat... The union of the two months into one would bring
календаре рядышком и оба потогонны... Соединение двух месяцев в один повело бы
6 with it a reduction in expenses: the 20th would fall once, not twice. June
за собой уменьшение расходов: 20-е число случилось бы однажды, а не дважды. Июнь
7 got its name from the word junior, which means a youth, a schoolboy, for in this
получил свое название от слова junior, что значит юноша, гимназист, ибо в этом
8 month schoolboys ripen and, though ripened, bear no fruit, they nonetheless
месяце гимназисты созревают и хотя, созревши, плода не дают, но тем не менее
9 receive their certificates of maturity.
получают аттестаты зрелости.
10 Among the Romans June was dedicated to
Mercury, a second-class god,
У римлян июнь был посвящен
Меркурию, богу второй гильдии,
11 engaged in commerce. This Mercury is reckoned the patron of
занимавшемуся коммерцией. Сей Меркурий считается покровителем содержателей
12 pawnshop keepers, cardsharps, and merchants’ wastrel sons. He lent the gods money at
ссудных касс, шулеров и купеческих саврасов. Давал богам деньги под проценты,
13 interest, danced the "quadrille" at salons, and drank nine samovars a day; he held a medal for
плясал в салонах "кадрель" и пил по девяти самоваров в день; имел медаль за
14 service to charitable institutions, to which he supplied firewood free of charge, making
службу в благотворительных учреждениях, куда поставлял бесплатно дрова, наживая
15 a "
ruble on the ruble" in the process; he loved
Moscow, where he kept a tavern, ate pigeon at the fairground booths,
при этом "рупь на рупь"; любил Москву, где держал кабак, ел в балаганах голубей
16 and published a well-meaning, buffoonish newspaper. In June the following events took place:
и издавал благонамеренно-ерническую газету. В июне произошли следующие события:
17 a decree was issued forbidding the sale of living people at markets, and a school of
издан указ, воспрещавший продавать на базарах живых людей, и основано училище
18 jurisprudence was founded, for the breeding in
Russia of assistant prosecutors... In this same
правоведения для разведения на Руси товарищей прокурора... В этом же месяце, по
19 month, according to the testimony of
Ilovaisky, bloody events took place in Paris (probably
свидетельству
Иловайского, в Париже происходили кровавые события (вероятно,
20 dysentery). July, meanwhile, through the patronage of
Mark Antony, took its name from Julius
22 a work which, in the opinion of Latin teachers, deserves twelve lessons a week.
произведение, по мнению учителей латинского языка, достойное 12 уроков в неделю.
23 Был посвящен его превосходительству г. директору небесной канцелярии,
24 Active State Councillor and Knight,
Jupiter. Being of divine
действительному статскому советнику и кавалеру
Юпитеру. Будучи происхождения
25 origin, Mr. Jupiter nonetheless occupied himself with nothing but human
божеского, г. Юпитер, тем не менее, занимался одними только человеческими
26 affairs: he played
vint, drank hard liquor, and went about after little strawberries. To young
делами: играл в
винт, пил горькую и прохаживался по части клубнички. Юным
27 classicists his courtship of
the cow Io is no secret. The sun in July enters the
классикам не безызвестны его ухаживания за
коровой Ио. Солнце в июле вступает в
28 sign of Leo, on whose account all the knights of the
"Lion and Sun" have their name-day in July. For
29 writers July is an unlucky month. Death, with its merciless red pencil,
писателей июль несчастный месяц. Смерть своим неумолимым красным карандашом
30 struck out in July six Russian poets and one
Pamva Berynda. Here in Russia,
зачеркнула в июле шестерых русских поэтов и одного
Памву Берынду. У нас в России
31 вследствие сильных июльских жаров
князь Мещерский пишет записки, читаемые на
