Headnote
"A Doormat" ("Размазня") appeared in 1883, during Chekhov’s most productive years as a contributor to the Moscow and Petersburg comic weeklies, when he was publishing under the signature Antosha Chekhonte at a pace of several pieces a week to support his family while still a medical student. The Russian title is harder than any single English word: a razmaznya is literally a runny, smeared-out gruel, and figuratively a person with no backbone – someone who can be pushed around, walked over, taken advantage of without complaint. "Doormat" carries the figurative sense; no English word carries both at once.
The story is built as a single staged scene: a household employer summons his children’s governess to "settle accounts" and proceeds, with elaborate arithmetic and a straight face, to invent one deduction after another – Sundays not worked, holidays, a broken teacup, a nephew’s torn coat, a housemaid’s theft, a loan she denies ever taking – whittling her modest salary down from eighty rubles to eleven. She never objects. She takes the insulting sum with a whispered "merci." Only then does the narrator reveal that the entire exercise was a test, restores her full pay, and demands to know why she never fought back.
The piece belongs to a small, sharp genre in Chekhov’s early work: the domestic power sketch, told in the first person by a narrator who is not morally superior to what he describes even as he seems to condemn it. His final reflection – that it is easy to be strong in this world – lands as self-implication as much as social diagnosis; he has just demonstrated, at someone else’s expense, exactly how that strength is exercised. The comedy is procedural and exact, in the mode of the early Chekhonte pieces, but the arithmetic that structures the joke is also the story’s argument: underpaid, socially powerless women in service could be, and routinely were, cheated by simple insistence, because insistence was rarely met with resistance. Chekhov states none of this outright. He gives the numbers, the tears, the trembling fingers, the one word of gratitude repeated at the wrong moment – and lets the reader do the arithmetic of feeling that the narrator has just finished doing with rubles.
Translation Original
1 The other day I called my children’s governess,
Yulia Vasilyevna, into my study. There were accounts to settle.
На днях я пригласил к себе в кабинет гувернантку моих детей,
Юлию Васильевну. Нужно было посчитаться.
2 “Sit down, Yulia Vasilyevna!” I said to her. “Let’s settle up. You must need money, but you’re so ceremonious you’d never ask yourself... Well, now... We agreed on thirty rubles a month...”
– Садитесь, Юлия Васильевна! – сказал я ей. – Давайте посчитаемся. Вам наверное нужны деньги, а вы такая церемонная, что сами не спросите... Ну-с... Договорились мы с вами по тридцати рублей в месяц...
3 “Forty...”
– По сорока...
4 “No, thirty... I have it written down... I’ve always paid governesses thirty. Well, now, you’ve lived here two months...”
– Нет, по тридцати... У меня записано... Я всегда платил гувернанткам по тридцати. Ну-с, прожили вы два месяца...
5 “Two months and five days...”
– Два месяца и пять дней...
6 “Exactly two months... I have it written down that way. So that comes to sixty rubles... Deduct nine Sundays... you didn’t work with
Kolya on Sundays, you only walked with him... and three holidays besides...”
– Ровно два месяца... У меня так записано. Следует вам, значит, шестьдесят рублей... Вычесть девять воскресений... вы ведь не занимались с
Колей по воскресеньям, а гуляли только... да три праздника...
7 Yulia Vasilyevna flushed and picked at her flounce, but – not a word!..
Юлия Васильевна вспыхнула и затеребила оборочку, но... ни слова!..
8 “Three holidays... Off, accordingly, twelve rubles... Four days Kolya was ill and there were no lessons... You worked with
Varya alone... Three days your teeth ached, and my wife allowed you to skip the afternoon lesson... Twelve and seven – nineteen. Deduct that... leaves... hm... forty-one rubles... Correct?”
– Три праздника... Долой, следовательно, двенадцать рублей... Четыре дня Коля был болен и не было занятий... Вы занимались с одной только
Варей... Три дня у вас болели зубы, и моя жена позволила вам не заниматься после обеда... Двенадцать и семь – девятнадцать. Вычесть... останется... гм... сорок один рубль... Верно?
9 Yulia Vasilyevna’s left eye reddened and filled with moisture. Her chin trembled. She coughed nervously, blew her nose, but – not a word!..
Левый глаз Юлии Васильевны покраснел и наполнился влагой. Подбородок ее задрожал. Она нервно закашляла, засморкалась, но – ни слова!..
10 “Around New Year’s you broke a teacup and saucer. Off two rubles... The cup was worth more, it was a family piece, but – never mind! What’s lost is lost. Then, through your carelessness, Kolya climbed a tree and tore his little coat... Off ten... The maid, also through your carelessness,
stole a pair of boots from
Varya. You’re supposed to keep an eye on everything. You draw a salary. So, off another five... On the tenth of January you took ten rubles from me...”
– Под Новый год вы разбили чайную чашку с блюдечком. Долой два рубля... Чашка стоит дороже, она фамильная, но... бог с вами! Где наше не пропадало? Потом-с, по вашему недосмотру Коля полез на дерево и порвал себе сюртучок... Долой десять... Горничная тоже по вашему недосмотру украла у Вари ботинки. Вы должны за всем смотреть. Вы жалованье получаете. Итак, значит, долой еще пять... Десятого января вы взяли у меня десять рублей...
11 “I didn’t take it,” – Yulia Vasilyevna whispered.
– Я не брала, – шепнула Юлия Васильевна.
12 “But I have it written down!”
– Но у меня записано!
13 “Well, then, let it be... fine.”
– Ну, пусть... хорошо.
14 “From forty-one deduct twenty-seven – leaves fourteen...”
– Из сорока одного вычесть двадцать семь – останется четырнадцать...
15 Both her eyes filled with tears. Sweat came out on her long, pretty little nose. Poor girl!
Оба глаза наполнились слезами... На длинном хорошеньком носике выступил пот. Бедная девочка!
16 “I only took money once,” – she said in a trembling voice. “I borrowed three rubles from
your wife... I never took any more...”
– Я раз только брала, – сказала она дрожащим голосом. – Я у
вашей супруги взяла три рубля... Больше не брала...
17 “Really? And here I hadn’t written it down! Off three from fourteen, leaves eleven... Here’s your money, my dear! Three... three, three... one and one... Take it, if you please!”
– Да? Ишь ведь, а у меня и не записано! Долой из четырнадцати три, останется одиннадцать... Вот вам ваши деньги, милейшая! Три... три, три... один и один... Получите-с!
18 And I handed her eleven rubles... She took it and, with trembling little fingers, stuffed it into her pocket.
И я подал ей одиннадцать рублей... Она взяла и дрожащими пальчиками сунула их в карман.
19 “Merci,” – she whispered.
– Merci, – прошептала она.
20 I jumped up and began pacing the room. Anger seized me.
Я вскочил и заходил по комнате. Меня охватила злость.
21 “Merci for what?” – I asked.
– За что же merci? – спросил я.
22 “For the money...”
– За деньги...
23 “But I’ve just fleeced you, damn it, robbed you! I’ve stolen from you! Merci for what?”
– Но ведь я же вас обобрал, чёрт возьми, ограбил! Ведь я украл у вас! За что же merci?
24 “In other places they didn’t give me anything at all...”
– В других местах мне и вовсе не давали...
25 “Didn’t give you anything? Small wonder! I played a joke on you, gave you a cruel lesson... I’ll give you back every one of your eighty rubles! There, they’re prepared for you in an envelope! But how can one be such a milksop? Why don’t you protest? Why do you stay silent? How can a person go through this world without teeth? How can a person be such a doormat?”
– Не давали? И не мудрено! Я пошутил над вами, жестокий урок дал вам... Я отдам вам все ваши восемьдесят! Вон они в конверте для вас приготовлены! Но разве можно быть такой кислятиной? Отчего вы не протестуете? Чего молчите? Разве можно на этом свете не быть зубастой? Разве можно быть такой размазней?
26 She smiled sourly, and I read on her face: "One can!"
Она кисло улыбнулась, и я прочел на ее лице: "Можно!"
27 I begged her pardon for the cruel lesson and gave her, to her great astonishment, the full eighty rubles. She murmured a timid little merci and went out... I looked after her and thought: how easy it is, in this world, to be strong!
Я попросил у нее прощение за жестокий урок и отдал ей, к великому ее удивлению, все восемьдесят. Она робко замерсикала и вышла... Я поглядел ей вслед и подумал: легко на этом свете быть сильным!